Free lanyard in every order placed today

Every order placed today (1/9) will receive a FREE black Death Wish Coffee lanyard with their order. You can use it for normal things like your car keys, and your work ID, but c'mon, that's boring.

There are so many different things you can really use a lanyard for — here are some of the weirdest ideas we came up with. Note: You probably shouldn't actually try these at home like we did, but we had fun.

Direct Marketing Specialist Will's dog is clearly thinking "WHY THO"

Makeshift Dog Leash (or child leash) 

Did your dog chew through the leash again? Or did you misplace it? NO WORRIES! Clip the Death Wish lanyard to your pup's collar and get walkin'. You'll be a lot closer to your dog, which in reality, is all you really want anyway. Or if you're a parent with a 3-year-old who tries to escape you in public places, you can use it as a child leash, too. Clip it on their belt loop and be on your way — plus, they'll look pretty fresh to death.

Sophia, social media manager, tried to use the lanyard play with her cat, Pookah. Pookah was not impressed.

Cat toy

Simply wave the lanyard in front of your cat's face for playtime (unless your cat really isn't into that kind of thing). Or for bonus points, clip a cat toy to the bottom and consider your cat endlessly entertained.

The back of my head is ridiculous. 

Hair tie/scrunchie/ribbon

One of the worst feelings in the world is when you want to pull your hair up and you don't have a hair tie. But have no fear, your lanyard is here! Think lanyard, but make it fashion. Tie that sucker up in your hair and you're ready to rock and roll. You can even wrap it on your wrist to take with you.

As a pot/plant holder

Okay, you really shouldn't try this one at home, but Will did. 

Your new ribbon dancing habit (we weren't talented enough to take a good video of this, so we're leaving it up to you)

New year, new resolutions — have you ever considered rhythmic gymnastics? Think Will Ferrell in Old School, but with lanyards. And if you do this, please send videos. 

Not pictured, but even MORE ways, because I know you're asking for them:

• As a remote lasso, so you never have to leave your couch to change the channel
• As a stylish belt
• Pen holder, so you're ready to write whenever
• Phone holder, so you stop losing your phone all over the damn place

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