Perhaps this is some kind of trend that people are only just waking up to, however, NEWS FLASH: It’s always been a thing. Iced coffee is the sh*t all year long. Think I’m nuts? Likewise. Don’t knock it until you try it. As the colder weather swings around, stop into your local coffee shop and just do it. Don’t be soft, order that refreshing iced coffee to go. A coffee on the rocks, if you will. Hug that straw and sip it til’ it’s gone. You can thank me later.
I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “Why would I want to freeze my ass off any more than I already am?” Well, let me tell you why.
For one: Iced coffee is ALWAYS available.
It’s not like your favorite ice cream stand down the road that closes up shop for the winter. Just because summer is coming to an end, doesn’t mean your cold brew kick has to.
For two: No burnt tongues.
I want my coffee, and I want it now. We’ve all slipped up and lit our tongues on fire on account of being impatient savages. And let me tell you, it’s not a short-lived feeling. That shit hangs around for days. You can forget your taste buds exist and resort to iced coffee after the fact, anyways. You might as well just start with it.
For three: We all know straws get the job done quicker.
Just like ordering a mixed drink at the bar, the only way you’re going to get drunk quick enough to start letting your hair down, is by drinking through a straw. Call it a quick fix and start mingling. You’ll have new friends in no time. Same goes for coffee. Follow my lead and get to work on that straw. When I sip, you sip, we sip. You’ll never be late for work again… unless there’s a party in the drive thru. Stay safe, save time and make it at home.
For four: All eyes on you.
We all know the individual in line judging you by your order. There are two ways of handling this. You could just ignore them and enjoy your cup of joe. But the real rebel in you knows you want to “accidentally” trip over air and spill your coffee all over them to start their day off in the worst way. Here’s a pro to that; You’ll never have to worry about burning them. Iced coffee never hurt anyone. Bonus points if it’s their kid!
For five: My coffee will stay the same temperature.
You’re in the mood for a hot seasonal blend and you’re ready to demolish it, right? Wrong. IT’S TOO HOT. Forget about enjoying it for at least a half hour after ordering it. Then, make sure you drink it all in a matter of 10 minutes. You have now entered a competition on who can down their coffee quickest without choking on it before it gets to a point of luke warm waste and sits on your desk for the rest of the day without any affection. Let me tell you a secret, if you ordered iced coffee to begin with, you wouldn’t have that problem. Do your best until you know better, and once you know better do better. Now you know better.
I said you can thank me later… It’s later.