Death Wish Coffee to deliver hot coffee via Reaper Air by 2020!
Death Wish Coffee announced today that it will deliver scolding hot coffee via air shipment by 2020. The R&D dept has been exploring this method of shipping over the last three days and believes that their method could rival that of Amazon and help further their plan for world domination. Death Wish Coffee Co. owner and founder Michael Brown says, “EXCELLEEEENTTT!”
We're excited to share Reaper Air — something the team has been working on in our next generation R&D lab.
The goal of this new delivery system is to get scolding hot coffee into customers' hands in 30 minutes or less.
Putting Reaper Air into commercial use will take a number of years as we advance the technology and wait for the necessary Other World rules and regulations.
Check out this footage from a recent test flight.
Q: Is this science fiction or is this real?
A: We found it on the internet. So it must be real. Right?
Q: One day we'll see a fleet of Reaper Air vehicles in the sky?
A: Yes. Just not delivering our coffee. It is probably a sign for the end of days and we suggest you run like hell!
Q: When will I be able to choose Reaper Air as a delivery option?
A: Do you have a Death Wish?
Q: How are you going to ensure public safety?
A: The Other World is actively working on rules and an approach for flying Reapers that will prioritize public demise and misery. Safety will be a low priority.