First dates or meetups are not always all they’re cracked up to be. Often my mind ends up feeling as if it’s been tossed in a grinder and spun around into an oblivion. Instead of being excited about something fresh and new, I end up forgetting why I’m even there much less remembering their name… And now I have to hold a conversation with this person? Some would refer to that as anxiety, but I like to think of it as naturally derailing my emotion, getting ready to judge them on their “first date” conversation. Nonetheless, I always keep a few thoughts in my back pocket that I can whip out if needed. And then of course, there’s always the ‘take a sip of coffee’ approach when all else fails. Usually, that approach goes into full effect when the date goes a little something like this:
What was the last dream you had?
If it wasn’t about me, this probably isn’t meant to be. I forgot my wallet, so I’d appreciate it if you could pick this one up. I have to go walk my dog.
It’s your 75th birthday. Where do you see yourself?
If you can’t see yourself still alive, this conversation is over. I drink Death Wish Coffee and I’m going to live forever and I can’t handle being alone if you croak before me.
What was your first concert?
Now I know everyone says age doesn’t matter, but if you say, I don't know...Elvis? I’m going to assume you’re too old for me, bro.
If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go?
Who doesn’t like to travel? People who live under a rock, that’s who. If you hate road trips or planes and never want to leave your hometown, that’s a good indicator that I’m leaving you behind. Not only to travel but starting immediately after this date.
I love your perfume. My mom wears that, too.
When you look at me, do you see your mom, too? Don’t ever compare me to her again.
Much like a Chemex, having to go through plenty of brews to get the perfect cup, you’ll most likely go through plenty of bros to get a decent ‘Joe’. When in doubt, the best first date is having a conversation over coffee. The sip will save you every time.
Related: Flavor Profile: Pat Gerasia, Drummer of Red Sun Rising
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