6 Things You NEVER Say To Someone Who Drinks Death Wish Coffee

When you tell your average Joe coworker that you snagged that last cup of coffee from the pot, they pretend like they don’t hate you (they do), and start up a second pot of whatever coffee is around and open. But, when you tell your coffee addict coworker (that’s me) that you just used the last of the Death Wish beans and there’s none left to share – run. Run for your life and don’t come back, you hear?  Take the advice of my fellow coffee community members, or don’t do as much as whisper the following to Death Wish Coffee drinker in your life. 

 

 

"Here, I washed your mug for you!" - Jamie R.

It’s NOT dirty. It’s seasoned. Remember what happened when you tried to wash your toddler’s teddy bear for the first time? Yeah, it's that bad.

 

 

“Sh*t I forgot the coffee.” -Paul T.

When I've run out of coffee but still have to go to work, I don't. 

 

 

“Got you store brand instead.” -Michael S.

Okay, that’s just mean. It’s like you’re trying to hurt my feelings.

 

 

"You need to cut back." -Kat

When someone tells me to cut back on coffee, I cut them…out of my life. I cut them out of my life… *evil giggle*

"Caramel latte Frappuccino to go, please." -Brian P.

I don’t know these words you’re saying, but they have offended me, my family, and coffee everywhere. Get out.

 

 

"The mugs are sold out." -Danielle W.

Too real, Danielle. Too real. Sometimes, our mugs sell out in hours upon their release, and every time we’re blown away. It burns when those special mugs wind up on “evilBay” instead of your own hands. Text MUGS to 484848 to never miss a mug drop. 

 

 

 Related: 5 Ways (That Aren't Coffee) To Have A Better Monday