Win a Month's Worth of Death Wish Coffee and a Hand Crafted Mug

Winner chosen weekly via email.

Important: The Only Five Ways to Say "NO" to Decaf

It's the Holiday season. You need the real stuff. What do you do when someone asks you if you'd like some decaf? Here are some suggestions. 

5. Politely decline

(for first time offenders only)

 

4. Just leave

These people are not your friends.
 

3. Mock their offer

...because they're basically mocking you by even asking. 
 

2. With a threat

I'm a killer without caffeine. Don't push me.

 

1. With violence

Chris Farley does it best. [2 min]