6 of the Best (and Worst!) Coffee Drinks
By Teah Teriele — / Death Wish Coffee Blog
If you've been to a quirky coffee shop lately, you probably know that you can enjoy any possible dessert in latte form. A lot of coffee shops use real, whole ingredients such as eggnog, cinnamon, or green tea powder (matcha). Some drinks are made from flavor syrups (usually Torani or Monin), which are usually just flavoring and dye. Despite the artificial flavoring, some of these can taste like a real dessert. Some of them taste just as bad as they sound.
1. "French Toast Latte" tastes better than the breakfast itself
Saratoga Coffee Traders uses cinnamon, Maple Torani, and Butterscotch Torani steamed into milk, then poured over espresso. It's a classic breakfast turned into a sippable, caffeinated drink.
2. ...But unlike the breakfast, if you add banana, it will be terrible
This isn't old news, banana flavored things have been terrible since Nitwitz Banana Candy. Alex Mierjeski put it best when cupping Guy Fieri's banana k-cups- "[The aromas are like] banana flavoring, car freshener, banana Runts crushed in Tri Flow bicycle lubricant. [The taste was like] A creamy banana snow cone melted into over-extracted coffee, banana finish in the back of the throat à la snorted Runts."
3. In Vermont they use maple syrup to sweeten their coffee and you should, too
When I worked at Vermont's own Lovin' Cup Cafe, I shouldn't have been surprised that though there wasn't french toast on the menu, the huge jug of Vermont Maple Syrup wasn't going to waste. As an upstate NY native, I wondered why everyone didn't do this. Vermonters take their maple seriously and for a good reason. If you have real maple syrup, try it instead of sugar some time.
4. ...But don't you dare think that maple goes with bacon in a latte
The bacon fanboy-ism is in full effect, and people are losing their minds over it. Just because you saw the maple bacon doughnut recipe floating through the internet doesn't mean you need to implement it into your caffeine schedule.
Ron Swanson would be sorely disappointed.
5. French press black coffee is the coffee of Odin himself
The French press has been known to pull people into the rabbit hole of coffee culture. Once you start manually grinding and brewing coffee, you'll never go back to an auto brewer. Fair warning, though- once immersed into a coffee-passionate lifestyle, you may find yourself injecting into coffee conversations starting with words like "Actually...". All snobbery aside, coffee that actually tastes like coffee is a beautiful thing.
6. ... But coffee flavored with coffee flavored syrup is nothing short of blasphemy
If your coffee doesn't already taste like coffee, you're doing something wrong. Sure, this syrup can be used in non-coffee drinks to give the illusion of coffee, but that's no better than vodka-flavored water. If your local coffee shop uses coffee-flavored syrup in any of their drinks, demand a reason why. When they inevitably can't give you one, send them a link to this blog.